Alone vs. Lonely: Finding Connection and Belonging as Highly Sensitive People
For many highly sensitive people and empaths, there is a paradoxical relationship between being alone and feeling lonely. While being by ourselves is important for self care, spending too much time alone can cause us to feel lonely, disconnected, and depressed. But, what is the difference? Alone is when we are physically by ourselves, without others around us. Loneliness is the feeling of being by ourselves, like little green aliens on the earth—out-of-place, isolated, and different. This is why we may still feel lonely even when we are in a room full of people.
Take a moment to consider: “How lonely am I? How much time alone is healthy? How much connection do I need?” If you feel that you are lonely, alone, and have no one, I hope you realize that there are so many highly sensitive people who are also struggling with the same feelings. We may also feel like the people around us make us feel more alone and lonely. This is particularly true if you live or work with people who are not highly sensitive or those who have covered up their sensitivity. I experienced profound loneliness in my early 20s—even though I was surrounded by people at school, work, and home. I feltl guilty for feeling lonely, like something was broken inside of me for feeling lonely while surrounded by people. When the people around us don’t seem willing or able to see and accept us for the deep feelers and thinkers we are, our loneliness pain seems to get bigger.
How do we heal our feelings of loneliness and find the connection and belonging we are all longing for? Let’s go back to the little green aliens. On their own planet, the aliens fit right in with the other little green creatures. They don’t question who they are or what is wrong with them. So, if you feel like a little green alien, it’s time to get yourself in a room with other little green aliens. For our healing and growth, we need other like-minded people to reflect back to us the message, “You’re ok for who you are. I accept you.” Seek each other out, connect, and grow into the feeling of belonging
This is one of the reasons why I created Emotional Badass. I wanted to build a powerful community of highly sensitive people, empaths, survivors, and seekers from all over the world. Today, Emotional Badass has been downloaded 1.8 million times in over 100 countries, reviewed by more than 1600 listeners, with 215 members in our Patreon community. This is proof that we are not alone
Now, take a moment to connect: Close your eyes, take a deep, full breath into your body, and say “I belong.” For we all belong. The world needs us and our sensitivity now more than ever