What I’ve Learned from 17 Years of Client Interactions: Witnessing the Resilience of the Human Spirit
As a therapist and counselor, I have had the privilege of working with countless individuals over the past 17 years. My experiences in individual therapy, group therapy, hospitals, private practice, adolescent homeless shelters, high schools, and my own yoga studio have taught me countless valuable lessons, but most of all, my clients have truly been some of my greatest teachers.
The Buddhist idea that people come into our lives for a season to teach us something and then move on has brought me a lot of peace, and it has allowed me to value my time with people, no matter how long or short that may be. I have been through some tough times in this career, such as the loss of a client to suicide or addiction, but I have also witnessed the beauty of people committing to changing their lives. This intimacy has helped me become a stronger person and has allowed me to help my subsequent clients navigate the messiness of life to find peace, security, and fulfillment.
My clients have taught me that we are all truly connected. This may seem like a simple concept, but going through the experience of working with so many people over these 17 years has actually shown me in a way that defies words how connected we all are. Our pain can often convince us that we are isolated and that our pain is unique, but the truth is, we are all part of the human condition, and it is through our relationships with others that our own selves often come into focus.
We are moved forward by bearing witness to someone's recovery, and we are inspired by the human resiliency that we see in others. This is the spiritual fabric of our human existence, and it is through our relationships with others that we grow, learn, and inspire each other.
As a therapist, I have had the privilege of working with a diverse group of clients who have experienced trauma in various forms. Over the years, I have come to realize that some of the funniest people I have worked with have been through the toughest of traumas. This may sound strange, but let me explain how I arrived at this conclusion.
Trauma, especially betrayal trauma caused by people we trust, has a profound impact on our consciousness. When we experience physical, sexual, or emotional abuse, our minds often retreat into the darkest corners of our psyche as a means of coping. This is why trauma survivors often have a unique perspective and insight into the human mind and experience.
One of the ways that trauma survivors cope with their experiences is through humor. Humor has the power to transform pain into light, which can help release the burden of trauma. This is one of the reasons why I am such a strong advocate for comedy and comedians. I have been working on a project that delves into the importance of comedy in the healing process for trauma survivors.
Comedians often push the boundaries of what is considered acceptable and taboo, and this can be especially empowering for those who have experienced trauma. For me, early comedians who joked about topics such as incest and rape gave me the permission to speak my truth and address the secrets of my household. As a society, it is important that we support and encourage comedians who are unafraid to tackle difficult and sensitive topics.
Another aspect of trauma that I have learned about through my clients is the concept of "going with the flow." Many of us understand the importance of going with the flow in life, but for those who have experienced trauma, this can be a challenge. Trauma often leads to hyper-vigilance, a state of heightened awareness and caution in order to stay safe. This can make it difficult for trauma survivors to let go and trust that everything will be okay.
One of my clients taught me the power of going with the flow in a unique way. I was running a support group for students at a high school in Houston, and one of the students brought a Yoda doll to the group. This student had learned how to disrupt everything I had planned for the group. But then something shifted in me. I realized that I didn't have to resist him or the Yoda doll, but instead, I could go with the flow. By embracing the Yoda doll and allowing it to be a part of the group. We passed the Yoda doll around the room and I would ask each kid a question and then say “If you were Yoda, how would you answer?” And they were able to come up with so much wisdom. Wisdom that they wouldn’t allow themselves to give as themselves. But as Yoda they could. I was able to connect with the student and create a safe and supportive environment by going with the flow instead of resisting.
Over the last 17 years my clients have taught me that life is messy, but it is through the struggles and the pain that we have the opportunity to grow and become better people. We are all connected, and it is through our relationships with others that we find peace, security, and fulfillment in this one precious life. Humor and the ability to go with the flow are important tools in the healing process for trauma survivors. Whether it's through comedy, connecting with others, or embracing the unexpected, these strategies can help transform pain into light and provide a path towards healing. As a therapist, I am grateful for the lessons I have learned from my clients, and I continue to be inspired by their resilience and strength in the face of adversity.
Episode Tags
- ADD 1
- Abuse 14
- Alcohol 3
- Anger 8
- Bullying 4
- Childhood 37
- Codependency 7
- Covid 4
- Crystal Catalina 4
- Depression 15
- Detachment 2
- Disassociation 4
- Emotions 71
- Existentialism 1
- Faith 1
- Family 24
- Fatigue 4
- Focus 3
- Gratitude 11
- Grief 10
- Guilt 2
- Healers 7
- Healing 51
- High Sensation 4
- Hope 1
- Hypervigilance 7
- Introverts 6
- Lonliness 7
- Love 3
- Manifesting 5
- Manipulation 19
- Men 1
- Mindfulness 36
- Money 10
- Music 3
- Nutrition 2
- Overthinking 8
- PTSD 11
- Parenting 12
- People Pleasing 7
- Perfectionism 6
- Pets 4
- Relationships 12
- Resiliency 12
- Sadness 1
- Self Esteem 16
- Self Love 11
- Self-Care 24
- Sex 1
- Shame 4
Episode Tags
- ADD 1
- Abuse 14
- Alcohol 3
- Anger 8
- Bullying 4
- Childhood 37
- Codependency 7
- Covid 4
- Crystal Catalina 4
- Depression 15
- Detachment 2
- Disassociation 4
- Emotions 71
- Existentialism 1
- Faith 1
- Family 24
- Fatigue 4
- Focus 3
- Gratitude 11
- Grief 10
- Guilt 2
- Healers 7
- Healing 51
- High Sensation 4
- Hope 1
- Hypervigilance 7
- Introverts 6
- Lonliness 7
- Love 3
- Manifesting 5
- Manipulation 19
- Men 1
- Mindfulness 36
- Money 10
- Music 3
- Nutrition 2
- Overthinking 8
- PTSD 11
- Parenting 12
- People Pleasing 7
- Perfectionism 6
- Pets 4
- Relationships 12
- Resiliency 12
- Sadness 1
- Self Esteem 16
- Self Love 11
- Self-Care 24
- Sex 1
- Shame 4
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