8 Signs You're an INFJ: Understand These Traits to Improve Relationships and Mental Health

HSP
Silhouette of INFJ man with backpack walking alone with sunset background

Understanding your personality type can significantly impact your mental health and relationships. For those who identify as an INFJ, recognizing your unique traits can offer profound insights. As a psychotherapist I often encounter individuals who discover that their INFJ traits help explain much about their experiences and interactions. INFJs are one of the rarest personality types, characterized by their empathy, intuition, and perfectionism. Let's delve into eight signs you're an INFJ and how understanding these traits can improve your relationships and mental health.

What is the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI)

The Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) is a widely used psychometric tool that categorizes people into one of 16 personality types based on their preferences across four dichotomies: Extraversion vs. Introversion, Sensing vs. Intuition, Thinking vs. Feeling, and Judging vs. Perceiving. Developed by Katharine Cook Briggs and her daughter Isabel Briggs Myers in the mid-20th century, it aims to provide insight into how people perceive the world and make decisions. While its scientific validity and reliability are debated, the MBTI is still popular for personal development and career counseling. In this episode I discuss the INFJ type, emphasizing its rarity and the profound empathy, insight, and understanding of human potential that INFJs possess. I encourage listeners to take the test to better understand your personality and how it influences their interactions and decisions.

INFJ’s & Empathy and Intuition

INFJs are renowned for their deep empathy and powerful intuition. These traits often allow us to understand others' emotional states and motivations almost effortlessly. As a highly sensitive person (HSP), you might find yourself intuitively grasping what someone is feeling without them having to say a word. This ability, while profoundly connecting, can sometimes lead to struggles with people-pleasing and codependency.

Balancing empathy with strong boundaries is essential for maintaining mental health. It's crucial to recognize that while your empathy is a strength, it must be managed to prevent emotional burnout. Learning to set boundaries doesn't diminish your ability to connect deeply with others; instead, it ensures that you can sustain these connections healthily and without resentment.

INFJ and Perfectionism and Procrastination

Perfectionism is a double-edged sword for INFJs. We often strive for perfection, which can lead to procrastination due to a fear of failure. This perfectionism can be paralyzing, making it difficult to start or complete tasks because we are so focused on exceeding expectations—both our own and others'.

One way to manage this is by embracing the concept of "good enough." Therapy and self-compassion are crucial tools in learning to balance high standards with self-acceptance. By acknowledging that perfection is unattainable, we can reduce procrastination and improve our overall mental health.

INFJ’s Have Small Social Circles

INFJs typically maintain a small circle of close friends. This trait stems from our preference for deep, meaningful connections over a large number of acquaintances. As a highly sensitive person, you might value loyalty and shared values in your friendships, quickly distancing yourself from those who betray your trust.

Letting go of societal pressure to have many friends can bring peace and fulfillment. It's important to recognize that having a small, high-quality social circle is not a sign of lacking something but rather a reflection of your desire for depth and authenticity in relationships.

INFJ’s Dislike Small Talk

As an INFJ, you likely find small talk draining and unfulfilling. Our preference for deep and meaningful conversations means that trivial discussions often feel like a waste of precious time and energy. This aversion to small talk can sometimes make social interactions challenging.

Accepting small talk as a necessary social skill can help us navigate larger social settings more comfortably. While it may never become a favorite activity, recognizing its role in human interaction can make it more bearable and less draining.

The INFJ is Future Focused

INFJs are constantly thinking about future goals and the steps needed to achieve them. This future-focused mindset is often a way to escape the present, especially if past experiences have been difficult or traumatic. However, an excessive focus on the future can lead to hypervigilance and a neglect of the present moment.

Balancing future planning with present moment satisfaction is vital for maintaining mental health. By practicing mindfulness and grounding techniques, we can learn to appreciate the present while still planning for the future. This balance helps reduce anxiety and improves overall well-being.

INFJ’s Gravitate Towards Helping Others

INFJs often feel a strong urge to help others, sometimes to their own detriment. This trait, while admirable, can lead to overextending ourselves and experiencing frustration, stress, and even resentment. Developing healthy boundaries and self-care practices is essential to avoid burnout.

Embracing "sacred selfishness" allows us to help others more effectively without sacrificing our own well-being. By taking care of ourselves first, we ensure that we have the energy and capacity to support those around us without feeling depleted.

INFJ’s and Their Perceptive Abilities

Our natural ability to understand others' emotional states and motivations makes us highly perceptive. This trait relies heavily on intuition, allowing us to delve deeper into people's minds and understand their unique perspectives. Being perceptive is a powerful tool, but it must be balanced with humility to avoid becoming arrogant or overly confident in our judgments.

Recognizing that our perceptions are not infallible helps maintain healthy relationships and keeps our mental health in check. By staying grounded and open to the possibility of being wrong, we can use our perceptive abilities to foster deeper connections and personal growth.

INFJ’s Appreciate Deep Connections

Finally, INFJs have a profound appreciation for deep connections. We value relationships that allow for genuine emotional intimacy and understanding. This appreciation often leads us to seek out and cherish those rare, meaningful bonds that truly resonate with our highly sensitive nature.

Understanding and embracing this trait can significantly improve our mental health and relationships. By focusing on quality over quantity and nurturing those deep connections, we create a support system that enhances our well-being and personal growth.

Recognizing and understanding these INFJ traits can transform your approach to relationships and mental health. Embrace your empathy, intuition, and other unique characteristics to navigate life with greater self-awareness and fulfillment. By doing so, you can build stronger, more meaningful connections and improve your overall well-being.

 
 
 

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NIkki Eisenhauer

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